"I'm a Desperate Man..." Andy Gullahorn

Anxious.  Restless.  Can't sleep.

I was sitting here tonight with a restless heart.  Don't know why.  I feel like I need to sleep, but I just didn't feel ready to put a lid on the journey called today.

So I've been sitting... thinking a little.

I downloaded Andrew Peterson's new single (Purchase Here on iTunes)

After AP's song finished Andy Gullahorn was next in my iTunes line-up.

These lyrics grabbed that restlessness and tackled it to the ground:
I know I just display my foolish pride
When I try to be an island to myself
You must be tired of all the stuff that I still hide
Because I just can’t seem to trust anyone else
It’s a lonely way to live
Such a lonely way to live

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me

You’ve been more than patient all this time
If it were me I would have given up long ago
The first time that you pulled me from the mire
And I brushed you off to dig another hole
It’s a sad way to live
Such a sad, sad way to live

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me

I used to be the strong one
The self-sufficient fool
I thought I needed no one
But the plain and simple truth
Is I’m a desperate man

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me
<Purchase Desperate Man Here>    <Purchase Entire Album Here>


I had to share it with you!

Peace at last!

Let's put a lid on it.

Dude... It's Just the Doorbell

Our baby boy is afraid of the doorbell...

...along with anything else that is loud enough to hear one room away.

Today I was walking in the front door with my two boys when we returned from the gym. Daniel, the baby, was already in. Gabe, 3 years old, was still making his way in from the car. Gabe stopped to ring the doorbell a couple times and Daniel screamed as if his big toenail was being ripped off. Did he fall and hurt himself? Does he have some kind of internal bleeding? No. He was afraid of the doorbell. The Doorbell.

I've been gripped with fear the past two weeks. We are living in a season of fear and insecurity as a nation, but this fear is much closer to home... like...in it. My wife and I are in our 10th year of marriage and it has been the most difficult to date. We are in a rocky stage in the ministry that I lead. And, as most of the rest of the nation, our family's financial foundation is cracked.

I want to fear. I feel like I should worry. But, every time I take it to God, He just returns peace. Don't get me wrong, my face has broken out (as a 35 year old man!) and my teeth hurt from grinding together at night. But, I just have this calmness deep inside.

The obstacles that feel insurmountable day-to-day are simply "doorbells" to Him. We feel defeated by the terrifying bells ringing in our ears. However, God wants to use the ringing as a tool to teach us how to trust! He wants them to be like sound bytes that remind us that He is at the door... knocking... waiting... like the delivery man bearing the package we've been anticipating for so long.

I looked at Daniel and said, "Dude, it's just the doorbell." Then the echoing of God arose from deep within and said to me, "Dude, it's just the doorbell! Chill out."

I'm going to go open the door. When I look out I will see our scattered patches of daffodils that have opened their sleepy eyes this week excited about turning the corner to find the promise of Spring. And I will remember Who clothes them and Who covers them with vivid shades of yellow. I will remember that if he cares so much for the flowers of the field, how much more must He care for me. I think I will then go step into the beautiful garment of Grace prepared especially for me and remember that I haven't purchased it, but it was freely given, even in my state of unworthiness. Then maybe I'll lay down and rest. When I awake, I will know Him more and fear things less. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Maybe you should go answer your door.

Just a thought...