Reminisce...

Tonight at CONVERGE we began a process of individually sharing our autobiographies.  The rules are that each person gets up to 30 minutes to share their life story and then we open the floor up for questions.

Tonight I began the process.

As I shared I started to reminisce...

(I just looked up that word in my computers dictionary to find out how to spell it and I found this)

"indulge in enjoyable recollection of past events"

So, ok, maybe that's not what I did.  Maybe it was more like lamented but I'm not sure.

As I shared my story I realized a few things

1. 1. I am old(er)

1. 2. It seems that over the years I've grown less effective

1. 3. I no longer look forward to the day when I (we) will conquer the world

1. 4. I have lost some measure of hope

When did I lose hope?  Why did I lose hope?  How did I lose hope?

What will it take to restore hope?

I love God with my whole heart.  I believe Him.

I just don't have an unshakable resolve that things will be much different.

I'm sure I'm not losing my faith or walking away from anything.  I'm just a little confused these days about His role and mine.

Growing pains (aaargh)... but I'm glad to be growing!

Any thoughts?