Tonight I began the process.
As I shared I started to reminisce...
(I just looked up that word in my computers dictionary to find out how to spell it and I found this)
"indulge in enjoyable recollection of past events"
So, ok, maybe that's not what I did. Maybe it was more like lamented but I'm not sure.
As I shared my story I realized a few things
- 1. I am old(er)
- 2. It seems that over the years I've grown less effective
- 3. I no longer look forward to the day when I (we) will conquer the world
- 4. I have lost some measure of hope
What will it take to restore hope?
I love God with my whole heart. I believe Him.
I just don't have an unshakable resolve that things will be much different.
I'm sure I'm not losing my faith or walking away from anything. I'm just a little confused these days about His role and mine.
Growing pains (aaargh)... but I'm glad to be growing!