Thursday, November 29, 2007

following dad's death II

I am doing ok.  It has been two weeks of extremes.  I keep thinking every day that it will get easier, but it hasn't yet.  Sometimes I'm ok, but then I'll see, hear, smell, taste something that sends me into grief again.  I had not completely lost it in a few days until I got the hospital bill yesterday and it had itemized each procedure in order and I re-lived the whole experience.  The hardest part is knowing that I wasn't there during all of that.  I feel like I left him all alone.  Even though he wasn't conscious, it's still hard.  

We put Guido to sleep yesterday because the vet said there was no hope for his ears and eyes.   That was another very emotional parting for me.

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